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This period represents a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” hit the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive guide to the words Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your choice to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {